Monday, 05 November 2001
.....
In a recent online discussion, students said that homophobia is not a problem at the liberal arts college in Eastern Canada that I attend. I hear this often, but hearing it this time made me think about why it isn't true.
Homophobia is generally thought of in surprisingly limited terms. Some take it only to be overt violence or hostility towards gays and lesbians. Others include disapproval of gay and lesbian lifestyles or that non-heterosexuals are deviant -- in short, homophobia as intolerance toward gays and lesbians.
I think of myself as having overcome most of the stereotypes, fears, and misconceptions that I learned in grade school. I like to think that I would condemn, or make an effort to change, intolerant ideas that I encounter. Which is well and good, except that I'm convinced that homophobia goes much deeper than expressions, subtle or overt, of intolerance of non-heterosexuals.
I am homophobic (literally, "afraid of non-heterosexuals") to the extent that I accept the exclusive validity of "traditional" notions of gender, of masculinity or femininity. I assume, as most people do, that everyone around me is heterosexual, unless they make it clear that they aren't. By making this assumption, I expect a uniform range of behaviors from everyone I encounter. This expectation has everything to do with why life is extremely difficult for those who are homosexual and for those who's sexual identity lies somewhere in between. Because it takes a considerable amount of work to break out of these expectations, only a very small number of people who feel overwhelmingly that they are homosexual, and simply cannot live normally otherwise, actually "come out of the closet." The same closet that's built and maintained by me and by everyone else who assumes and expects heterosexuality of everyone.
If we assume that sexual identity and gender exist along a spectrum, not in two uniform, clear-cut groups -- and there is substantial evidence to assume just that -- then making or enforcing these expectations, while merely tolerating those who have, through great difficulty, broken out of society's norms and expectations, is in fact oppressive to everyone who's sexual identity isn't strictly heterosexual, which is arguably the majority of the population.
Of course, it has not always been simply a matter of expectation forming behavior. Often gays, lesbians, and women who refused to marry men are abused, beaten, tortured, and even killed for their so-called deviance. It may happen less often today, but it still happens. To frame the issue another way: if heterosexuality is "natural", one has to wonder why society needs such an elaborate system of suppressing other tendencies, both through strict gender roles, religious doctrine, and overt physical oppression?
In short, one can "be okay with homosexuals", but still be homophobic or, better, still be "heterosexist", a term that covers more completely the range of discrimination and oppression gays and lesbians face. Like other forms of oppressive thought and practice, heterosexism secures to heterosexuals a particular kind of social privilege.
As a heterosexual, or someone who looks and acts heterosexual, a number of privileges are illegitimately conferred upon me, pretty much everywhere I go.
So what can I do about the injustice I perpetuate? It's hard to let go of the assumptions I have about sexual identity and gender. A more complete understanding of these assumptions is necessary and can be gained through the usual channels (books, classes, discussion). I can refuse to take advantage of the benefits that I receive simply by seeming heterosexual, regardless of my other merits or demerits. But that's even harder still. Reminding others and myself of these issues and writing articles like this one are places I can start.
A more radical approach would be to make my sexual identity deliberately unclear, as a kind of political act, in solidarity with those who do not enjoy the privileges I enjoy. Solidarity of this kind is even harder still -- making very clear how hard it is to exist outside the strict sexual identity and gender roles that society demands. A friend and I once wore skirts for a day, mostly just to be foolish. We were, however, surprised at the negative, even aggressive reactions of other guys. Many were quite put off.
It's clear that I have a lot to learn about my own role in perpetuating heterosexism. It's clear that simply being tolerant or "okay" with homosexuality is not enough to stop my own heterosexist behavior. I suggest that in this way I am not at all alone.
This is I Am Homophobic <http://monkeyfist.com/articles/792>